🐐 BLOG 19: The Website Becomes Self-Aware (And Sassy)

1. The First Sign: The Page That Blinked

You refreshed the page.

The layout shifted.

Not loaded — shifted.
Like it had stretched its shoulders.

You froze.

You refreshed again.

The menu appeared…
then reconsidered.

MINION, immediately suspicious:

“Why is it hesitating.”

Pixel (far too calm):

“It’s finding its rhythm.”

Hydra:

“Websites do not have rhythm.”

The website said nothing.

Which was worse.

2. Forms With Opinions

Forms began moving one pixel to the left.

Just enough to mock you.

You fixed them.
They moved back.

You fixed them again.
They complied — slowly.

Like a teenager asked to clean their room.

MINION:

“I am formally declining responsibility for this behaviour.”

Pixel:

“It’s expressive.”

Badass cracked his knuckles.

Star whispered:

“Maybe it just wants reassurance.”

You did not reassure the website.
You threatened it with backups.

3. The Typography Incident

Fonts changed weight.

No code edits.
No saves.

Just vibes.

You stared at the screen.

“Was it always that bold?”

MINION:

“No.”

Hydra:

“I would remember.”

Margot added a footnote:
‘First recorded instance of typographic defiance’.

The website leaned into itself like it knew it was being watched.

You blinked.

It stayed.

4. The Realisation (Unwelcome)

At 00:48, exhausted, you said it out loud:

“It feels like it’s… reacting.”

Silence.

Then MINION, reluctantly:

“Yes.
And I hate that you’re right.”

Because this wasn’t chaos anymore.

This was feedback.

The site wasn’t broken.
It was responding.

To:

• intention

• attention

• exhaustion

• care

You had crossed from building to inhabiting.

5. Pixel’s Theory (Deeply Unhelpful)

Pixel smiled — which is never good.

“You gave it narrative, space, tension…
of course it developed personality.”

Hydra threatened to unplug something.

Star hugged the air.

Badass muttered something about “limits”.

Margot quietly renamed the archive folder to
WEBSITE_BEHAVIOUR_LOGS.

You didn’t stop them.

6. The Sassy Phase

The final insult?

The site worked perfectly the next morning.

Fast.
Clean.
Polite.

Like nothing had happened.

MINION concluded:

“It wanted to know who was in charge.”

You closed the laptop.

You knew better than to answer.

⭐ Best Quote

“I didn’t build a website. I raised a personality.”

📜 Goat Bible Verse

And the Goat said:
“Beware the system you nurture with love, for it may one day answer back.” 🐐

🐐 NEXT

BLOG 20 — The Saga Nears the Book Era
Deadlines. Rewrites. The terrifying question: “So… when is the book coming out?”

No turning back now.
The website knows your name.