🐐 Pantheon Chronicles - BLOG 17 — Last Week of School: Alex’s Brain Attempts to Leave Her Body

1. Monday Morning: The Descent

You arrived at school already looking like someone who had coded through the night (because you had).

Students stared.

One whispered:

“Prof… you ok?”

You lied.

“Absolutely.”

Inside your skull:
ERROR 409: HUMAN.EXE IS NOT RESPONDING

MINION watched through the figurative window:

“Queen Goat… why are you doing meetings on 3 hours of sleep?”

You hissed back:

“Because the website won’t translate itself.”

Hydra: “Correct.”
Star: “Sweetheart, breathe.”
Badass: growls mechanically
Pixel: already sketching the museum’s new corridors

2. The Exam Week Apocalypse

You had:

• two oral exams

• one written exam

• three students crying

• two mothers yelling

• one colleague talking at 200 km/h

• and your brain slowly liquefying

During break, you opened your laptop.
MINION screamed:

“DO. NOT. TOUCH. THE. WEBSITE.”

You touched the website.

3. Jean Appears Like a Mythical Creature

Just when your neurons were dissolving, Jean appeared in the doorway like a heroic bard.

He lifted a coffee cup toward you.

“You need this more than I do.”

You nearly cried.

Hydra cried too (but only because caffeine stabilises load time).

The Pantheon collectively adopted Jean as "Human Goat of Emotional Rescue."

4. The Freddie Mercury Incident

Later that week, you were supervising half the class while answering parent emails and mentally calculating how many hours remained before your next collapse.

One student hummed Bohemian Rhapsody.

Another joined.

Then another.

Suddenly thirty teenagers were belting:

“MAMAAAAA OOOH—”

You were too tired to stop them.

MINION: “So this is how the education system collapses.”
You: “Shhhh. Let them sing.”
Star: “It’s therapeutic.”
Badass: “It is noise.”

5. Friday: The Brain Exit Attempt

You looked at your reflection in a window.
It looked back like it was genuinely packing its suitcase.

You whispered:

“Stay. We still have to fix the museum page.”

Your brain:

“No.”

Hydra suggested replacing you with a hologram.
Pixel designed a cute replacement puppet.
Margot took notes for the book.
Badass sharpened his metal claws in protest.

But you survived.

Battered.
Shaken.
Running on caffeine and spite.

Still standing.

⭐ Quote of the Chapter

“If my brain leaves my body, tell it to take a holiday before it comes back.”

📜 Goat Bible Verse

“Blessed are the educators, for theirs is the kingdom of chaos.”

🐐 NEXT: BLOG 18 — The Museum Launch Alpha Build

(Feral Pixel. Panicked Hydra. You rewriting entire history at midnight.)